Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
