tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
