He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
