I'm so fucking centered right now
You just made me feel so damn special
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
