the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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