Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
