i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
