Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
