Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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