also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
