I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
this will be a night to untag.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
