plz talk dirty to me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
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