Rock
Scissors
Fuck
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
