You really coming over, don't trick.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
