I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
