I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
