apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it