sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Let's get the cat blown out
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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