dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
