I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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