I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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