i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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