Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
