sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
