she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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