you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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