Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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