oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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