how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
