you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My dick has a subreddit
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
