what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
