Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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