As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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