You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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