We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
