there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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