I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
