how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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