my shit smells like andre
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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