I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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