didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
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I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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