I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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