Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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