Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize