Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize