yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We had to coat check the pizza.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
