The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You don't make any sense
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