last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He kissed a someone with a penis
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
