Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
