1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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