I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
