doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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