the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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