So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
