Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The power of my boobs compel you
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
