that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
