I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
