we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
