it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
