I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize