If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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