I am full of burrito and curiosity
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
