I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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