I could have mohawked her pubes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
